To Be Here Before Stroke: Confident and Competent
I’m supposed to be here.
After Stroke: A Presence and Mindfulness
I’m supposed to be here.
I rose, I fell. I rose and I fell.
My right limbs were like wilting petals,
A bleeding heart was in a grey spell.
Nerves of impatient’s molten metals.
But culture the power of flower.
Lavender oils and creams help you sleep.
Help the hearts, fight strokes with rose powder.
Passion flowers for those who weep.
To stem the thyme of anxiety,
Jasmine tea to soothe the thought.
Flowers give you a variety.
But remember, Forget me not.
Four years before, I had a thought.
A vision and a plan to slot.
Kindled by a spark it brought.
Then a new idea I got.
Experience, observe, and spot.
Foreshadow the events it wrought.
One, two, three then given a shot.
But a flaw and it’s all for naught.
Four years forlorn, I had no thought.
Nothing for words, nothing to jot.
A shredder of meaning was caught.
Like the vine of grapes went to rot.
Old phrases were a dirty plot.
Familiar songs became distraught.
And just cannot connect the dot.
Try and try for the things I ought.
Four years today, I have a thought.
Maybe I could teach what I taught,
Like labor for the things I fought.
Communicate for what I sought.
My Award, was not Bored, first Chord -
Life is Dear, I Explored, with no Fear -
God is Good, not to Hoard, here I stood -
It was the day my hope was restored.
Joy adored, Kind accord, God my Lord -
Meek of Might, Near in store, One true light -
Peace to you, Quill not sword, Reign anew -
It was the day my hope was restored.
Sing a Song, move Toward, United strong -
Vibes and smiles, Word reward, and X-trials -
Yes I can, Zoom aboard, Life began -
It was the day my hope was restored.
My life is a pair of more and less.
It is wonderful and terrible.
There are times of progress and distress.
Life’s good and bad like a parable.
Communications with swallowed locks.
Aphasia is like a parasite.
A running pause is a paradox.
I’m trying to speak with all my might.
Cobra stalks a tongue to paralyze.
And a cure of meds that just misspell.
Blocked and can’t get a word in edgewise.
Can’t explain it with no parallel.
Somedays of anguish and paradise.
Somedays will curse and some will amaze.
Drawing pictures and a word device.
Speechless and words of paraphrase.
Move forward even a little amount.
There’s no fix and no paradigm.
Discover the ways - it’s paramount.
Be present this time then grab and climb.
Ash is smooth, purple, majesty, oar.
All my words are falling to the ground.
Leaves me speechless.
Beach is torpedo, etched, overlap, bronze
All my thoughts are falling to the ground.
Leaves me speechless.
Maple is vermilion, vibrant, viscous, vivid.
All my senses are falling to the ground.
Leaves me speechless.
Oak is sturdy, thirsty, longevity, fruit.
All my beliefs are holding me together.
Leaves me speechless.
When I suddenly loss my voice,🙊
It becomes more than a gesture.🤫
Hearing words, just a muffled noise.🙉
It becomes more than a gesture.🧏🏻
Seeing a friend, want to say “hi”.👋
It becomes more than a gesture. 🙋🏻♂️
Like to say more but just a sigh. 😔
It becomes more than a gesture.☹️
Sometimes I may say yes for no.👎
It becomes more than a gesture.🤦🏻♂️
Was it right or left? I don’t know.🤷🏻♂️
It becomes more than a gesture.🤔
I work to live and I won’t cease.🤚
It becomes more than a gesture.✊
But I am content and in peace.✌️
It becomes more than a gesture.😊
It is time to heal, rest, and pray.🙏🏻
It becomes more than a gesture.🤞
God in control, I’ll be okay.👌
It becomes more than a gesture.👍
Do you have the time...
To give me a hand?
Do you have the time...
To understand?
Do you have the time...
For me to think?
Do you have the time...
For my mind to sync?
Do you have the time...
To learn a new word?
Do you have the time...
For what you just heard?
Do you have the time...
You said, “4:08”...
You don’t have the time.
Of course, you couldn’t wait.
It’s three years in limbo,
Can’t get into the flow.
Search for words to and fro.
Think for thoughts high and low.
Need to stop and go slow,
Step by step, row by row.
Faith, love, and hope in tow.
Trust the me that I know.
Live now not days ago.
The present sun will glow.
Blessings to see and sough.
And color the rainbow.
Have a steady tempo.
Go higher, not plateau.
Don’t plough through, tiptoe.
Just breathe and let it go.
As I write this poem, I want you to know,
My tempo has no flow, so we should go slow.
As I write this poem, I rebuild my speech,
I learn, sing, dance, and reach. I try and self-teach.
As I write this poem, the world is anew,
Lost in an azure blue, with crisp morning dew.
As I write this poem, there’s a masked symptom,
I have to stay at home, in a bubble dome.
As I write this poem, a fact to disclose,
Always in verse not prose, with the words I chose.
As you read this poem, I am still in stress.
Would you think of me less? You think I’m a mess?
As I read this poem, I hope you are fair,
Sometimes I do not dare, I hope that you care.
Poetry gives me hope, stay to dare and cope,
To dance on a tightrope, verse in azure trope.
May the Fourth
May the Fourth be with you.
A force you never knew.
May your prayers be due.
May your answers be true.
May you enjoy the new.
May your visions come through.
May your showers be few
And May your sky be blue.
May the Fifth
May the Fifth be in the bottle.
May you balance not waddle.
May you roll through not be rocked.
And May your spirit be stocked.
May you stand up not be stoned.
May your dreams be not postponed.
May you be thoughtful not stewed.
And be thankful and renewed.
May the Sixth
May the Sixth sense protect you.
May your attitude affect you.
May your eyes have a vision,
Touch without a collision.
May you share a good ration,
With a taste of compassion.
May you have ears to listen.
And May your karma glisten.
I don’t trust my lips.
I don’t trust my tongue.
I don’t trust my breath.
I don’t trust my whole mouth.
I don’t trust the words I see.
I don’t trust the voices I hear.
I don’t trust my finger to point.
I don’t trust my head to nod.
I do trust the sun will rise.
I do trust the flowers will bloom.
I do trust the tide will ebb and flow.
I do trust the moon will wobble.
I do trust that the pain will pass.
I do trust that things will change.
I do trust the me inside.
I do trust that God is next to me.
I Praise You God for all Our Days.
I Praise You God in all Your Ways.
I Praise You God and Always Stays.
I Praise You God, the Plans He Lays.
I Praise You God, both Clouds and Rays.
I Praise You God, it’s not a Phase.
I Praise You God, and Your Trust Pays.
I Praise You God, Level to Raise.
I Praise You God, Rest in Your Gaze.
I Praise You God, and You Amaze!
You can’t see it but it’s there.
Not on the ground or up in the air.
Not visual to you but it’s everywhere.
I can only see one hemisphere.
You can’t hear it but it’s there.
Loud sounds and sandpaper in my ear.
Not audible to you but the sound is elsewhere.
My words are muffled or like dead air.
You can’t smell it but it’s there.
Electric fires are flying in midair.
Not an odor but there’s a foul somewhere.
Brain is melting with static atmosphere.
You can’t taste it but it’s there.
I hunger and thirst for what I had… I swear.
Not sweet or sour but a sample of nowhere.
I hold my tongue because I may be in err.
You can’t feel it but it’s there.
A clot crashed in my brain: I didn’t have a prayer.
Not a cut, a scar or a blemish anywhere.
Numbness but pain: Keep moving and persevere.
You don’t sense it but it’s there.
Stroke, Aphasia and Low Vision... I declare.
Aphasia 180,000 Americans each year.
An invisible disability: So many are unaware.
A Poem - Having A Story In Aphasia
I am Mark Harder. I know my name.
I know your name too, but I can’t say it.
Alienation - Isolation, banished and no fame.
A Plan - Have A Strategy Increases Achievements
A, B, C, 1, 2, 3, meditation. Then…
Write, read, speak and listen.
Practice - Practice and practice again.
A Pause - Halt And Stop Impacts Action
I know what I want to say, but it won’t came out.
I started to speak, but I can’t find the words.
Hesitation - Hard to start words. Always in doubt.
A Plasticity - Hardware And Software Installing Applications
Search, input, output, download, update, memory, reboot.
Trying new connections. Finding my contacts and notes.
Adaptation - Using other words that I can say: Reroute.
A Pang - Having A Struggle Intensifies Anxiety
I am different now. What’s going on with my feelings?
Too much stimulation, no confidence, uneasiness.
Stress - Pressure, nervousness, tenseness and dealings.
A Purpose - Highlighting Aphasia, Supporting In Adversity
How could I have problems? I look okay.
Why won’t I talk to people? What about texting?
Invisible - It is like I am not here and faded away.
A Phoenix - Harder And Stronger I Affirm
I’ll Be Back Again. Mark My Word.
I am a warrior and I am a survivor.
Alive - I am present and going forward!
We use cookies to analyze website traffic and optimize your website experience. By accepting our use of cookies, your data will be aggregated with all other user data.